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Wednesday, June 29, 2011

272. Love's Kitchen



    It was all going so well. I was sitting in the truly superb Belper Ritz on the day my son had learned he had passed his maths degree and Andy Murray had fought his way to the Wimbledon semi-final.
    What could possibly go wrong?
    In fact, everything from there onwards.
    Later in the evening I fell foul yet again of Cineworld's incompetence over sub-titles. Double Dhamaal didn't have them when subtitles were advertised on the cinema times leaflet.
    Anyway, that setback was the second part of the evening. During the first half I suffered the lame British comedy romance Love's Kitchen.
    This was like eating Mrs W's vegetables: soggy and tasteless (sorry, dear).
    Oh, and there's the whole Gordon Ramsay thing...
    Ramsay is hailed on the publicity poster as one of the film's main stars.
    He is actually in it for about two minutes during which he proves he is worse at acting than Mrs W is at cooking veg.
    In other words, the naked attempt (along with the title's play on Hell's Kitchen) to get his TV fans into the cinema is little more than a con.
    But that is far from the only thing wrong with James Hacking's movie.
    The plot is paper thin - talented chef, after three years of mourning for his wife, opens new restaurant but has to win over resistant locals. He hates food critics but, yawn, falls in love with one.
    Anyone who has watched five seconds of any romcom will know exactly where this is going.
    Ramsay isn't the only one who comes away with egg of his face. Dougray Scott is limp as the chef who is supposed to thrust passion into his food, Claire Forlani pouts for America (although she was born in Twickenham) as his love interest, Peter Bowles goes all Cockney and Michelle Ryan and Lee Boardman make the oddest of couples.
    Simon Callow prompted my only laugh in his role as the drunkard, pompous TV presenter.
    It's all horribly predictable, stiffly acted and just pointless - although there were giggles from some of the, shall-we-say older ladies in the audience.
    They might have seen differently but to me it was piffle and worth a paltry 3/10.

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272. Love's Kitchen


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